stormfallen: (bunneh ears)
It's kind of sad how disproportionate things are online. I was actually just having a convo about how if some bunch of aliens were monitoring our news/internet/communications, they'd think Earth was the worst place to live ever because all people ever talk about is the shitty things that happen.

Naturally what do I do: I perpetuate this by only posting in my LJ when I'm upset about something. 8)

But nahhhh. Things are never as bad as they seem, media is just a good way of getting those frustrations out. I'm sure I could write a paper on it if I really wanted to.

Read more... )

I need a job, but there's not guarantee that won't just give me more headaches. At least I'll have money, I guess.

Things that are actually good: I'm drawing again. I almost have 100% completion in BBS. (why does Aqua level so slowly compared to the other two whyyy) I've been sewing a lot lately and I might actually (gasp!) have a costume done ahead of time...

Eh that's all I can think of right now. Back to job hunting it is.
stormfallen: (luke - safety helmet)
...I've been thinking about making an RP account for Tamora Pierce's Daja because I love her to bits, but I need to get my hands on the books and reread them. Second of all...I have no idea where to look for icons. Sob. I spent an hour or so looking through stock photos and model websites trying to find someone with her likeness, but basically all of the ones I found straighten their hair. ): I suppose I'll have to draw my own icons after all...

....does anyone who actually knows what I'm talking about have any suggestions?
stormfallen: (asch - urusai!)
*sighhhh* I don't know how many people here are still on DeviantArt, but recently my computer got attacked by a nasty virus twice. Several of my friends have gotten the same one, and lost a lot of important data/had to reformat their computers. It's definitely coming from the site, and it pretends to be anti-virus software. Basically...I'm leaving DA indefinitely. I love the community and the people I've met, but I'm not going to risk losing more data.

I'll be posting art here and on [livejournal.com profile] terrafying from now on.

Color Quiz

Feb. 3rd, 2010 02:30 am
stormfallen: (rita/estelle - here beside you)
Results: somewhat accurate and a bit creepy.

Your Existing Situation

Creative and emotional, looking for ways to further expand those qualities. Looking for a partner who enjoys the same activities. Seeking adventure and new and unusual activities.


Your Stress Sources

Feeling empty and isolated from others and trying to bridge the gap between herself and others. Wants to live life to the fullest and experience as much as possible. she cannot stand any restrictions or obstacles put in her way and only longs to be free.

more )

http://www.colorquiz.com/index.php

Urgh.

Nov. 16th, 2009 12:27 pm
stormfallen: (cloud - *facecollar*)
I am reminded why I usually listen to my own body instead of other people. I pulled an all-nighter thinking I could get more work done that way, (because it's finals week and all the cool kids are doing it) but now I'm shaking so badly I can't really hold a pencil or stylus, let alone draw straight lines with it. I got about as much work done as I would have if I had slept for 6 or 8 hours anyway. Great job, self.

I need to stop being so ashamed of actually needing sleep. In the meantime, I have two final crits today. fml.

relationship tl;dr )

Hng, it's probably the stress getting to me. I'm going to go sleep till my next final and hope I can stop shaking.
stormfallen: (rita/estelle - here beside you)
If he wasn't already.

He and Aki came up to visit for the weekend <3 I showed them around campus. But Saturday night Aki started feeling crappy and came down with a really high fever. He got a speeding ticket getting her home the next morning...what's usually a 7 hour drive took him 5 and a half hours.


...So now Aki and I both have the flu...lol. Back to bed for me, I guess.
stormfallen: (zack - are you on crack!?)
Oh, Maple Story. The only place where a pasty white girl like me can get called a nigga.

Seriously? It was sort of surreal. For reference, this is my main, Armelius:



There are plenty of other people who play black charas in MS. I dunno what the big deal was, but I got it from two different people in the span of a few hours. And I've been playing for at least a month now. ._.

Now I can chalk that down on my list of life experiences no one really needs.

On the other hand, I chatted with another player on a ship ride that was really nice, and we ended up doing Monster Carnival together. I joined her guild. :>

TALES OF VS COME IN THE MAIL NOW AHHHH.

[livejournal.com profile] hanae0711 IS GOING TO SCHOOL WITH ME THIS YEAR. <3



On an unrelated note, TINY COSPLAYERS. <3

luke!fail

Apr. 22nd, 2009 11:15 pm
stormfallen: (refill - denied.)
....well, that was kind of embarrassing. I went to renew my driver's permit and failed the test...I mean, it's been two years since I took it last but I thought most of it would be common sense, so I didn't bother studying. >.> GREAT JOB, IZ-KUN. YOU DID IT.

*sigh* so I have to read up on traffic laws and get to the RMV again sometime soon.


New FMA anime started, it's so nostalgic and I love the opening and ending. The eps so far feel a bit rushed, but I'm reserving judgment for a bit.

Tales of Vs. omg. So TWO major RPG franchise-based fighting games on the PSP now...I'm happy. Still debating whether to get the English or Japanese version of Dissidia...(YURI AND KRATOS AND ANISE ARE IN VS. BUT I'M WAITING FOR ZELOS. BECAUSE IF HE'S IN IT I WILL NEVER PLAY AS ANYONE ELSE)

Got my hair cut because I'm tired of trying to grow it out, and now I look like a stereotypical lesbian again. Oh well. I'm too lazy for long hair.
stormfallen: (zelos - skeptical)
Another weird dream, this time rather Jurassic Park-esque. Strange considering I've never actually seen Jurassic Park. But it involved dinosaurs and giant lions chasing and eating people. (the dream, that is). I was hiding out in a treehouse with my college friends. WHAT GIVES.

mn, unexpected drama's finally over. Need to get work done but I've been feeling lethargic again. I hope it's not because I missed a day of meds by accident. *goes off to buy lots of iced tea to feed caffeine intake*

My sister read When the Wind Blows and the Lake House while she was home sick from school...without asking me...she's 14...awkward.

I want to draw MR fanart.

I had things to say. Important things. Now I forgot. (I WANT RM FOR PSP)
stormfallen: (genesis nyoro~n)
XDDDDDD
stormfallen: (zelos - skeptical)
SO last night I had a dream that I worked at a Target and it was basically a fortified place to fight off zombies but people were going about their daily shopping like it was normal. Until we figured out unless you effectively completely dismembered the zombies they'd still come after you. And the body parts would still twitch. I don't know what burning would accomplish. So we all decided to make a run for it. And for some reason, for once, I could fly. Not with wings, just sort of....jump into the air and glide maybe 20 ft above the ground. A few other people could, too.

Obviously this means I should never get a job at Target. Or maybe just that I'll live a little longer than everyone else when the zombie apocalypse comes.



Coming home this weekend. *collapses*
stormfallen: (hungary + frying pan)
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND UHHH I'M REALLY CONFUSED.

My default icon is showing up not as Yuri wearing bunny ears but some random really pretty Asian guy. Am I the only one who sees this? ._. It went away for a bit before but now it's back...wtf wtf.

Also I got spammed by bots on IM and meebo seems to be having issues so I probably can't get on IM till I get back to school (prolly Saturday). :/ Unless I use AIM express which sucks but I guess it's better than nothing.

I have a plushie microbe. It's really freaking cute.

I should really stop reading fandomsecrets because everyone is bitching about Hetalia and it makes me want to sic Hungary-tan and her frying pan on them. GOD STFU ALREADY and let me enjoy the comic for the lulz. (it makes me really wary about wanting to cosplay Austria...I mean, if people find the comic offensive would they find that offensive too? ;_;)

Uhmmmm I went cosplay shopping at a thrift store with Rue, Lux and Meimei the other day and got a new pair of pants for Guy...and my mom after seeing them informed me that the brand usually costs around $100. I got them for $5. Woot.

Uhhh okay New Years Resolution. Do not fail out of college. Also, beat Final Fantasy 7 already.
stormfallen: (ohcrap)
Obama-kun and Hilary-chan Part 1 Part 2
Presidential Debate

Well, as one Youtube commenter said:

"THEY JUST SLASHED OUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES.

Well played, Japan."


Just goes to show that the rest of the world is sitting there going "wtf, America."



Speaking of which, I need to send in my absentee ballot.
stormfallen: (tifa)
Note to self: CALL JOE TOMORROW MORNING and remind him to bring me that PS1 memory card.

Will be starting FF7 for the 5th time or something because my only memory card went mysteriously missing, like my cellphone charger, camera cord and PSP.

I am a master of misplacing things.

Tablet still not working, as I whined about on my DA. I want a Wacom. T_T

Will see people at Connecticon this weekend.
stormfallen: (le gasp)
Freakin' IRS. Apparently I forgot to sign my tax forms.

I want my return check arghhhhhhhhhh.

*headdesk*

Now I have to wait after I send the letter back for it to process. Hngh.
stormfallen: (nan da yo)
Sinus headaches are the worstttt. First I had a sore throat, then congestion, and now it's a cough and my head is stuffed like a freaking Thanksgiving turkey. I'm gonna go in search of some decongestant. x.x

I'd better get better by tomorrow, 'cause it's the Annual Boston Cosplay picnic (1:30 PM on the Commons, wheee) and I get to see Aki and Sora and Cloe and everyone. Next week I'm going to have to squeeze in some time with Newton ppl too. >.< I've been bad about arranging get-togethers. Maybe it's just stress, maybe I'm lazy.

...sent an email instead of a phone call, but I have one more to make. I guess I'm just frustrated because it took me so long to figure out what I wanted for myself, but now that I'm trying the process is so long and agonizing that it almost feels like it isn't worth it. I guess my parents are just at a loss for what to do, but they really don't feel supportive at all. My mom keeps saying negative things and it seems like she's given up on trying to give me any sort of positive reinforcement. The root of the problem, I know, is that I'm still at home. I'm infinitely more confident when I'm on my own, and when I know there's no one around who might take care of things for me, I step up. But with my parents around, even though I know they aren't going to make phone calls for me, I still have that feeling of complacency.

We'll see, I guess. No matter what happens it's not the end of the world, I'll deal.

...So, my iPod that I thought I lost at Miami airport in January? My mom found it in the bag with my sailing shoes. >.> So it's a bit smelly but after a charge it works just fine. On the other hand, I seem to have lost/misplaced/gotten my PSP stolen. That means system, case, memory card and Crisis Core UMD. Needless to say, I'm not happy. >.< (that's nearly $300 right there) I'm hoping that this is the usual "I put it somewhere and I'll find it in a while and think 'D'oh how did I forget it there!?'" because if it's not..ugh. I know I had it when Sora came over the other week. I almost always keep it in my bag, which means if it was stolen it was someone at work, since I don't have a locker. If so I'm going to kill someone. Ughhhhhhhh.

and some Odin Sphere )

...off to see if I can manage to clear my head long enough to get important things done.


I close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath
the farther off and already it just might make the life I lead
a little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue
and the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to you

I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world come undone
stormfallen: (tempest)
It's just a goddamn phone call. I don't know, maybe my mom is right and I should take something for anxiety, because it's always been this way. Calling people on the phone, even friends, makes me unreasonably nervous. It's better if it's their cell and I know they'll pick up, but the idea that a parent or a sibling might pick up makes me sick to the stomach. Calling strangers is even worse, sometimes I can force myself to do it and sometimes I just can't. I get horribly anxious, maybe not to the level of having a panic attack, but pretty close. So I just keep making excuses and putting them off until it's late and then I'm embarrassed to even try because it's late.

So I've basically most likely fucked up my chances for school next year and a better paying job because I can't make some freaking phone calls. What is wrong with me.


Yeah, I've...calmed down a little, but I guess that's what LJ is for. Everyone feels better after ranting.

I'll figure things out. I shouldn't jump to conclusions when I'm tired and feeling sick.
stormfallen: (we could be heroes)
Part of me wants an excuse for another really emo entry, but that's just stupid.

I really hate being suspended in-between things. Something needs to start, happen...I don't know. I'm ready to go somewhere. Do something. If I get into school it doesn't start until September. If I don't...another year of working (though hopefully at a better job) more rent to pay, staying at home unless Masha gets that apartment (at least I'll be able to afford it?) and taking classes here and there, probably applying early decision for next year. At least there's an end in sight? I'm just finally ready but nothing else is, and it's frustrating.

My math course starts Tuesday...fun fun. >.>

Really want to be doing more creative things, but it's hard to do photoshop work when I know I'm not going to have much time...I can't wait until I've got a regular schedule again. At least I've been writing more--paragraph RP is helping the prose along again. XD I should get back to my originals, as well as the one I'm writing with [livejournal.com profile] akisolj.

I am...really excited for PortCon, though. I have all my cosplay materials for both costumes except the sweater for Zack, plus a wig if the one I have doesn't work out, and I started on Elfe the other day...the only problem is if I can't find that sweater, because it's spring now and I should have thought of it before. >.> Maybe a thrift store or, worse comes to worst I can just wear a plain black turtleneck for now.

Romantically, I'm....I really don't know. I think I need to talk to someone, because I have no idea what I'm doing or what to do. I guess that's what I get for waiting, or...something. I love being happy for other people, and I'm grateful for my really close friends, but...it isn't the same, I guess. Again, I...hate being in the middle of things, neither here nor there. That's what it comes down to. >.
stormfallen: (nan da yo)
Another bad dream in which I get shot to death by a firing squad. Joy. Must be stress.

I hate my morbid imagination sometimes.

Application sent to RiT. Finally. All that's left is the optional essay for DigiPen. I don't understand why this took me so long. I think some of it had to do with writer's block.

I want to go to school this fall so badly. So what the hell was I thinking, waiting this long? x.x

If I end up going to RiT and don't like it, I'll transfer next year...but I really just need to get out of here and LEARN. God. Never thought I'd say that.

Video Game design program for the win.


Crisis Core: Level 74, mission completion @ 81%. FINALLY got Magic Pot for the DMW. x.x I saw ONE in two whole games and now all of a sudden they're popping up everywhere. So all I need for completion percentages is that, Tseng (80%) and Aerith (90%).

Must file state taxes. Hng. But I need the extra money. Saving up for a laptop of my own, and I have to pay for PortCon registration, hotel and my cosplay supplies.

Waiting to hear the date of my job interview asklddajasldasdlda. Can't wait to be making more than minimum wage, finally. x.x


Eheh, the other day [livejournal.com profile] akisolj and I went out to meet [livejournal.com profile] usagi_alchemist in Harvard Square in impromptu casual cosplay...XD I was going to be Zack but my wig wasn't anywhere near done, so I put on my Cloud wig and pants and my blue jacket. Aki did casual Aerith and I had my mom teach me how to use the curling iron for her hair...it looked really cute. XD we got a lot of stares, ahaha. (mostly because of me and my crazy spikes.) But it was refreshing. Just to cosplay for the hell of it.

I'm really excited to cosplay Zack, though...for once I'm not an emo character, so I can be my usual dorky goofball self, ahah. Well, I guess Guy is happy but I had to concentrate on being in character (i.e. being afraid of girls) which was actually kind of difficult because...I like girls? XD I am one? Orly kept assaulting me (as Tear) and I eventually just gave up, it was tiring to scream and jump away all the time. XD


Speaking of girls there's this ad for a clothing website on the side of the page, and one of the girls is wearing this shirt that has this ridiculously dropped neckline that should NOT be able to stay on her and keep her covered, and it's extremely distracting. Who the hell would wear that anyway. AKA I apparently really am a lesbian. )

I'm not afraid of standing still
I'm just afraid of being bored
I'm not afraid of speaking my mind
I'm just afraid of being ignored

I'm not afraid of feeling and I'm not afraid of trying
I'm just afraid of losing and I am afraid of dying

Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do

I'm not afraid of being sick
I'm more afraid of being well
I'm not afraid, put the gun in my hand
I'm just afraid it will hurt like hell

I'm not afraid of screaming and I'm not afraid of crying
I'm just afraid of forgetting and I am afraid of dying

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stormfallen: (Default)
✧ enzel ✧

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